I am living a life of futility these past few weeks. I am still thinking why it is happening. I am always in a quick check of my life. I thought maybe it’s the after effect of the medication I am taking. Or maybe due to the overwhelming stress that I’m currently experiencing. Yeah, it must be the overpowering pressure that life is throwing at me. Anyhow, I am in search of a diversion, an answer to all my misery.
I am actually spending so much time on solitude, trying to find myself. But I guess I am overdoing it. As they say, “solitude is a very good place to visit but a dangerous place in which to stay”. I often find myself alone, focusing my attention on 80’s music and doing some things which I find utterly non sense. It’s so frustrating and exasperating.
Still, there is a big part of me that keeps on fighting, keeps on trying, keeps on believing. Rather than dwelling in disease and psychosis, I know that someday I will bring back the real me. A person who is full of control, wisdom, strength and ultimately full of satisfaction. Meanwhile, I am contented having a very potent medication called humor!
